


Under the Surface

by zebraljb



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Breaking and Entering, Bubble Bath, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:28:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22702465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zebraljb/pseuds/zebraljb
Summary: Someone is breaking into Merlin's home.  They don't steal anything, they don't break anything, but he knows they're there.He just has no idea WHO or WHERE...or WHY.
Relationships: Harry Hart | Galahad/Percival, Merlin/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Comments: 12
Kudos: 165





	Under the Surface

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RaymondPalmersAss](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaymondPalmersAss/gifts).



> This is all because Raymondpalmersass decided to take a bath the other day. Blame her.
> 
> Teen & Up rating for language only.

Merlin storms into Harry’s office without knocking, without saying hello, and worst of all, without tea.

“Where’s my tea?”

“I’m not your bloody valet, Harry. Get your own damn tea.”

“Well.” Harry blinks at him. “So lovely to see you, Merlin, please come in, have a seat.”

“I’ll stand.” Merlin crosses his arms over his chest and frowns.

“Your resting bitch face stopped working on me decades ago, Hamish. Before it was even CALLED resting bitch face, actually. What has crawled into your Y-fronts this morning?”

“Do ye ever tire of making ridiculous statements such as that one?”

“No. It’s what keeps me from losing all my hair.” Harry’s eyes raise to the top of Merlin’s bald head. 

Merlin actually growls. “Ye are my best friend.”

“I am quite proud to return that sentiment.”

“Ye are my oldest friend.”

“I assume you are speaking of length of time, not age.”

“Bloody fucking hell,” Merlin snarls, his hands clenching into fists. Harry smiles pleasantly. “As I was saying, ye are near and dear to me and not at all my oldest friend in age. Happy?” Harry nods elegantly. “I need to know why. Why are ye doing it?”

Harry’s face draws into a question mark. “I would love to answer you, Hamish, but I’m not sure I understand the question.”

“Why are ye trying to drive me insane? I work hard, I’m loyal to those I care about. Why would ye attempt to push me over the edge? I’ve tried and tried to figure it out, and I wasn’t going to say anything, but I finally decided today was the day.”

Harry slowly stands up. “Hamish, please sit down. I will call for tea.” Harry reaches for the phone and calls the dining hall, eyes never leaving Merlin’s face.

“Fine,” Merlin grumbles, sitting down. “If ye need a new place to live, Harry, I will happily provide ye with one. Kingsman has an incredible list of…”

“I don’t want a new place to live!” Harry says, horrified. “I love my home. I have it just the way I want.”

“Like a macabre mixture of museum and butterfly graveyard?” Merlin asks.

“I wouldn’t put it so crudely, but yes.” Harry gives him an annoyed look. “I’ve made some changes since I’m back…I do enjoy the display of Daisy’s artwork in my office…but otherwise it is my dream home. I wouldn’t dare of asking to leave.”

“What do ye need with my house, then?” Merlin almost shouts. “And why are ye sneaking around like some sort of detective novel burglar?”

“Wait.” Harry holds up a hand. “Are you suggesting that I am letting myself into your home without your knowledge or permission?”

“Like you wouldn’t do something like this just to irritate me.”

They’re interrupted by a knock at the door. “Enter,” Harry calls.

“Your tea, Arthur. Good morning, Merlin.” A tea cart is wheeled into the room.

“Good morning, Edward,” Harry says politely. Merlin grunts at the man. “You’re so kind Thank you.” Harry waits until Edward leaves before getting up to pour tea. “As you were saying?”

“I’ve caught you attempting to sabotage my office.”

“That was because you hadn’t left said office for six days and your clothing was almost able to walk on its own. I had to find a way to get you out of here.”

“So now ye have moved to my home?” Merlin asks sadly.

“Hamish, I haven’t been to your house since Christmas when we exchanged gifts over dinner. And if I wished to come over, I would simply tell you I was coming. I wouldn’t sneak around when you weren’t there.”

“I suppose so.”

Harry hands Merlin his tea. “Why don’t you explain to me what’s been going on?”

“It’s strange, actually. Nothing is missing, and there’s no sign of forced entry. I just notice that things are out of place. Books not straight on the shelves. The bottle of whiskey was moved and the level continues to decrease…at a slow pace. And no, there’s not a leak. A bag of crisps was opened and partially eaten. Bath towels are folded incorrectly, and…”

“There is a correct way to fold bath towels?”

“Of course there is,” Merlin retorts.

“Of course there is,” Harry repeats with a sigh. “Continue.”

“My dressing gown was hung backwards on the door…I prefer it on the left hook, and it was on the right. But as I said, there’s nothing MISSING.”

“Do you feel unsafe there?”

“No. Because I don’t feel there is any sort of threat. It’s just…irritating. Please, Harry, if it is you, tell me.”

“Hamish, I have never let myself into your house when you weren’t there unless you asked me to,” Harry promises.

“I believe you.” Merlin settles into his chair with a frown.

“Shall we discuss a bit of work, then?” Harry asks. Merlin shrugs. “Eggsy has returned from Brussels. He came back yesterday.”

“I know.”

“I know you know.” Harry buries his smile in his tea.

“What’s THAT supposed to mean? I monitor all the agents.”

“Even the ones whose missions you weren’t running?”

“Yes, even then. Granted, I was busy on Tristan’s comms, but I was fully aware of Galahad’s return to HQ.”

“I see.” Harry smiles again.

“What are you on about?”

“Nothing. I just…I’m glad we have you as the eyes and ears of Kingsman.”

“Oh, stop it.”

“Even if you cannot keep your eyes and ears in tune with the comings and goings of your own flat.” Harry frowns. “That’s just it. Why in the world haven’t you checked the video feed for your house?”

“The cameras are currently malfunctioning.”

“Malfunctioning?”

“Yes. They are not as important at Merlin’s home as they are, say, at Arthur’s home. I got a lovely view of you kissing Percival goodbye on Sunday morning. He looked quite charming wearing your jumper.”

“Who I kiss on my front step is not the point. And I would appreciate you not poking your nose into my business.”

“He’s too good for you. Too smart, too pretty.”

“He is quite brilliant, and very attractive. We make a beautiful couple. Why aren’t your cameras fixed?”

“I’ve been saving them as a kind of weekend project.”

“Hamish, you don’t DO weekends.”

“Exactly the reason why my cameras are still malfunctioning.”

Harry removes his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose. “My advice is…”

“I didn’t ASK for your advice.”

“My advice is to repair your cameras and figure it out. Or DON’T figure it out, and start leaving treats for your burglar like a child with Santa Claus. I think you LIKE the idea of someone stealthily creeping about your house. It’s a puzzle for you to solve.”

“You watch too much television.” Merlin stands with his tea. “Tell Percival I say hello.”

“Tell him yourself,” Harry mutters.

“I will.” Merlin leans back a bit. “Hello, Percival…I can see the heels of your shoes under Harry’s desk.”

“Oh, bloody hell,” Harry growls as he slides his chair back and their sniper comes crawling out.

“Have a good day, gentlemen.” Merlin winks and leaves Harry’s office.

“Oh FUCK yeah.” Eggsy slowly slides down and blissfully closes his eyes. “That’s the stuff right there.” He groans and hisses at the same time. “Bloody fucking PERFECT.” He allows himself to float for a long moment before eventually pulling himself up and leaning over the side of the tub, wiggling his fingers until he reaches what he’s looking for. He carefully arranges the shower cap around his head, wincing as the elastic pulls at the hair behind his ears. He then reaches for a glass. He smiles when the ice cubes make a satisfying clink as they jostle about. “To Merlin. The fucking guv…and the man of my fucking dreams.” He holds up the glass and toasts the empty room before taking a large gulp. “And to Agatha Christie…let’s see what she has for me today.” He carefully puts the glass down and wipes his hands dry with a towel. He reaches for the novel by the tub and carefully opens it. “ _Appointment with Death_ …well, THAT’S promising.” He flips to the first page. “You do see, don’t you, that she’s got to be killed?” Eggsy grins. Definitely promising. He carefully holds the book in his left hand so he can sip his drink with the right.

He’s so involved with Hercule Poirot, and the Boynton family, and Jerusalem, that he doesn’t hear the front door close. Or the steps on the stairs. He’s a spy, and he should have heard such things. But he doesn’t. He’s immersed in his bubbles and his bath and his drink and his book…until the bathroom door flies open with a thud.

Eggsy screams, an actual girlish scream. His book goes flying and his glass drops into the bathtub. “What the fuck?” He groans in dismay as the brown liquid makes an oily path through the bubbles.

“Eggsy?” Merlin stares down at him in shock. He’s still in his normal work attire, which consists of dark trousers and some sort of neutral jumper. Harry calls the jumpers boring. Eggsy loves them because they bring out the beautiful hazel shade of Merlin’s eyes. What ISN’T normal is the unusually large knife in Merlin’s hand.

“Why the fuck are you waving a fucking machete at me?” Eggsy pants, his entire body quivering from the shock. The bubbles dance on the surface of the water.

“It is actually a bowie knife,” Merlin says. He looks Eggsy over from the top of his pink shower cap to the end of the tub.

“Well could you put it away! For fuck’s sake!” Eggsy yells. Merlin sighs and sets it down on the vanity. “Do you always come home waving a bowie knife around? And why are you home, anyway? You never come home before seven.” Merlin continues to stare at him. “And why the fuck do you own a shower cap, anyway? You don’t got any fucking hair!” Eggsy knows he’s babbling but his mouth just won’t stop. Maybe if he wishes really hard, he can pull the plug on the tub and go down the drain with the water, never to be seen again.

“I do believe I’m the one that should be asking the questions here, but I will do the polite thing and answer yours. I only carry a knife when I think there’s an intruder in my home, I’m home because I realized I should probably try to make an early night of it for once to get some things done around the house…and because if I’m painting it is more comfortable than a hat and keeps my head clean.”

“Oh, well, yeah…that makes sense. Good idea,” Eggsy says lamely.

“Anything else?” Eggsy shakes his head. “Well, now that ye are done playing Twenty Questions, I have a question of my own. Why have I found ye in my bathtub, wearing a shower cap, drinking my liquor and reading one of my books?”

“Because look at this fucking thing!” Eggsy waves a hand and bubbles fly everywhere. “Biggest tub I’ve ever seen, innit? Thing’s a fucking lake. Back on the estates you was lucky if one arse cheek fit in the tub, and at HQ they only got showers. My tub ain’t big at MY flat, neither. After a mission, maybe I come over here and soak a bit, read a book and have a drink.”

“Of course…it’s always when ye have returned from a mission. I never put two and two together.” Merlin closes his eyes and nods to himself. “Of course, I never put ANY of this together. In all the scenarios I ran through my head, I never expected to find a gorgeous man in my bathtub.”

“Uh, scenarios? And…you think I’m gorgeous?” Eggsy all but whispers.

“I cannae continue to speak with ye when ye look so ridiculous. Get out and dry off. Meet me in the kitchen.” Merlin turns on one heel and leaves the room.

“I’m fucked,” Eggsy groans. He whips off the shower cap, throws it across the room, and slowly slides down into the tub.

Merlin puts the knife away before starting a pot of tea. He then sits down at the table and stares at his hands. Eggsy Unwin. Naked. In his tub. That beautiful body sleek and wet under the bubbles. Merlin closes his eyes and wills his body to behave. _Ye just called him gorgeous…focus on talking your way out of THAT._

“Hey,” Eggsy says, appearing in the doorway with wet hair and wearing a pair of trakkies and a vest. He smiles shyly.

“Have a seat, lad.” Merlin gets up and pours their tea.

“Thanks.” Eggsy looks everywhere but at Merlin. “I’m real fucking sorry, Merlin. I never shoulda used your tub or your shower cap or your books or your booze without asking. I just felt so weird about it. Like what sorta man asks his mate to take a bubble bath at his flat?”

“The kind of man who risks life and limb on a regular basis. The kind of man who deserves to pamper himself a wee bit,” Merlin says kindly. “But I thought we were close…ye could have asked and I would have understood.”

“Yeah, I sorta knew that, but this was easier.” Eggsy looks as if he wants to say more but doesn’t. Interesting.

“I actually accused Harry of breaking in.”

“Fuck.” Eggsy covers his face with his hand for a moment.

“I wish to know how ye got in. I know ye have a bit of experience with theft, but I didn’t know breaking and entering was your forte.”

Eggsy stares at him incredulously. “I used your key, bruv.”

“My what?”

“Your key.” Eggsy goes into the pocket of the trakkies and holds up a silver key. “You gave this to me months ago, remember? Percival was on that trip to Beirut, and Harry was up your arse worrying about him, and you couldn’t leave your post…asked me to stop here and get you fresh clothes. I sorta never gave it back.”

“My God, you’re right.” Merlin stares at him. “I completely forgot.”

“Well, you do got a lot on your mind, being the eyes and ears of Kingsman and all,” Eggsy says with a grin.

“Ye are the second person to call me that today,” Merlin says.

“Wot?”

“Never mind. Well, this explains so much. The missing whiskey, the crooked books on the shelf…”

“Sorry about that. I tried to be real careful with all your stuff, and next time I was gonna bring my own booze and fill your bottle,” Eggsy vows. “Brought my own bubbles though…saw you didn’t have any.”

“Of course not,” Merlin scoffs, and Eggsy blushes. “Eggsy, I am so sorry that ye did not feel ye could speak to me, ask me for a simple favor. I feel as if I’ve failed you as a friend.” _I would give you the moon if you wanted it_ , Merlin adds in his head.

“You didn’t fail at anything!” Eggsy protests. “It was stupid of me, illegal, and a shite thing to do to a friend, breaking into his house. Even if I DID use a key. I wasn’t invited. I definitely wasn’t invited to use your bathtub or read your books or touch your things or…” Eggsy slaps his mouth shut, horrified.

“Touch my things?”

“I might have…tried on your dressing gown once or twice?” Eggsy offers timidly. “Jesus, Merlin, just dart me now and drop me somewhere.”

Merlin absolutely CANNOT think of Eggsy in his dressing gown. “Might I ask why?”

“Cuz…cuz it smells like you, all right?” Eggsy blurts out. “And I liked wearing it knowing you wear it too, cuz I got a crush on you the size of Charlie’s ego, but I can’t never tell you because you’ll just laugh, and part of me coming here was because of your orgasmic fucking tub but the rest was just to be near you without you noticing.” Eggsy draws a breath. “Seriously, Merlin, kill me NOW. Where’s that bowie knife?”

Merlin stares at Eggsy for a long moment, watching as Eggsy leans down and actually starts to bounce his forehead off the table. Merlin pulls his mobile from his pocket, pushes a button, and puts it on speaker. “Yes, Hamish?”

“Harry…if I was not mistaken, you were hinting that I might have more than platonic feelings for Eggsy…is that correct?” Eggsy’s head stops moving.

“I have to hint, because if I come right out and say it, you will come up with ridiculous reasons why it’s not true…even though we both know how you really feel.”

“Thank you, Harry.” Merlin terminates the call. 

Eggsy slowly raises his head, a bright red bruise forming just above his nose. “You just hung up on Harry.”

“I did. He’s used to it. It’s how I end most of our calls.” Merlin calmly looks at him although his insides are twisting. “I do not wish for ye to enter my house in such a manner ever again.”

“Yes, Merlin,” Eggsy says sadly, his entire body drooping.

“I wish ye to make sure I am here…because I like spending time with ye. I like the way ye smile while telling a story, the way your eyes light up when ye laugh. I like the way you speak of your sister with adoration, as if she is perfection in a My Little Pony shirt. I like the pride ye take in your work, and the loyalty ye feel for your friends. And if ye wish to use my tub again…I most definitely want to make sure I’m here to use it with ye.”

Eggsy’s mouth drops open before his beautiful pink lips form his gorgeous smile. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”


End file.
